I’m Not Britney

“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”  Winston Churchill

I find a parking spot, grab my water, and run down the street.  I’ve got 2 minutes to find this building, fill out the waivers you need to sign anytime you take a new class, and get myself situated.

“Hi, I’d like to take the 8 am ‘hips, thighs, booty’class; and this is my first time here.”  I promised myself that I’d try some new classes while I’m in between races and don’t need to run long distances, so here I am.

“Great.”  The receptionist at Body By Simone smiles back, “I’ll just need you to fill out these forms.  A single class is $28, or you can do the new client special and get a 4 class pack for $80.”

I hesitate and she says, “Why don’t you decide which you want after you’ve taken the class.”

I walk into the dance studio and introduce myself to the lovely smiling cute and overflowing with energy instructor Michelle, warning her that this is my first class.

“Great, I guess you love to dance?” she asks.

“No, actually, I don’t.  I’m super uncoordinated, but my sister takes this in NYC and swears by it, so I thought I’d give it a try.”

“Don’t worry,” another class participant says, “I’m uncoordinated, too, but I just love this.  Just keep moving and you’ll be fine.”  Awe….that was nice.  I love women encouraging other women.  I just love women period….we kick ass.

I actually do love to dance, but trying to do a coordinated routine with other people is something that I have never been good at.  I’m more of a free-styler and belly-dancer than a hip-hop gal.  Even back during the time of the electric slide, I’d be the one still going in the opposite direction of everyone else half-way through the song.  I try to remember that my sister says that this class makes her feel like she is a Britney Spears back-up dancer, and that could be fun, so that is why I’m here.

“We’ll do some of the more basic dances today, so it will be easy-peasy for you,” Michelle reassures.

Bruno Mars’s “Uptown Funk” comes on and we are off.  I’m all over the freaking place.  I have not become magically coordinated overnight.  Fortunately, I am over 40 and therefore not self-conscious about looking like an idiot in the midst of these other ladies who are clearly a maximum of 31 and channeling their inner Beyonce.

It is hard.  I’m breathing fast and sweating….definitely getting in my daily cardio and that part I like…I do not shy away from feeling my heart pounding in my mouth….  We take a little break for floor work to tone our glutes and thigh, and Michelle says, “you’re doing great, what do you think?”  She has been smiling encouragement all along, because obviously she’d like to get repeat clients.

While we’re doing mat work old-school Jane Fonda style, I’m thinking do I pay for just today’s class, or take the 4 class package and give it a few more shots?  But I’m not enjoying it.  The cardio is fine, but I do not like that the entire time I have to try to focus on what the teacher is doing and follow her and that’s just a little stressful.

That’s why I like to run…..when I run, I can transport my mind to wherever it wants to go….sort out my day….reminisce…solve problems….have mental orgasms(see post Sprints and Mental orgasms)…  when I’m focusing on trying to follow the dance moves, I can’t do that….and I’ve got a lot of freaking sh#t to sort out and not enough time in my life to do it.  But I don’t want to hurt the instructors feelings by not at least buying the 4 pack.  But I don’t want to come back.

Why am I such a people pleaser?

I’m old enough to not care about looking like an idiot, but not old enough to stop worrying about random people’s feelings and just say no.  She doesn’t even care.  I care more about her feelings than she cares whether I come back.

Why do I repeatedly invest more in other people than they invest in me?

And now my butt hurts after all these freaking reps!

“Ok, that was a nice break.  Time for the next dance.  We’ll take it up a level.”

Ah….F#ck!!  I’m not buying a 4 pack.  Michelle will be just fine.  I gave it a shot, it didn’t wow me.  I’m not going to spend more time and energy on things or people that don’t really interest me.  As soon as the class is done, I pay for my single class and use my sore uncoordinated ass to sprint back to my car.

I look at my new non-people-pleaser self in the rear-view mirror and smile….Hm….what am I going to try next….



About Paria

Runner, mother, pediatrician, blogger

6 comments on “I’m Not Britney

  1. PREACH!! I am right there with you, sista! On the same page. Something happened after turning 40, and I’m liking it. No, correction, LOVING this decade so far.

    Caveat: Except for the days when my mind or body feel old.

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